Walk of Shame

September 22, 2009

This is a mini-thematic masterpiece. I loved it. The Morgan Freeman sound alike is out of this word. I mean, like, did he someone narrate this?

God, do I miss college. Sighhhhh. Enjoy your Tuesday.



A Tribute to…Matthew Berry

September 22, 2009

I was on the treadmill today (shocking, I know) with ESPN on the TV silent in the background as usual, when a new commercial came on. I have no idea what the commercial was for, just that it had something to do with ESPN and GEICO (the caveman was in it) and it starred Matthew Berry with his half-bald head and normal shit-eating grin.

It got me thinking: is this chooch secret ill?

The answer? A resounding ‘Yes.’

Matthew Berry is the man. For girls and dudes that don’t like sports/fantasy/life, Matty B is the No. 1 fantasy guru at ESPN. He was a nice little gimmick at first. The “fantasy guy” who would have a short segment or two every fall talking about some made-up geek game for non-athletes while announcers and SportsCenter anchors poked fun at him.

But now with the ascension of fantasy sports, especially football, Berry has become the man. Old-fart executives and blue-haired decision makers took awhile to come around on fantasy. But once they suddenly (finally) realized it catered to the golden audience, the much coveted 18-30 year old male demographic, you know, the ones actually spending money, they realized the marketing potential was limitless.

Need to sell beer or snacks? Want to pitch crispy violent TV shows and action movies? This is your audience.

And because ESPN, like most ginormous enterprises, is driven by the bottom line, they started pumping more staff, Internet space, air time and dollars into fantasy.

This brings me back to Berry. As a pioneer of fantasy he no doubt was laughed at and ridiculed most of his “career” before fantasy really took off. Now because he gutted it out, he ended up in the right place at the right time and is now at the forefront of the fantasy movement. Although Yahoo! has a chokehold on the fantasy community, iit’s limited to online. Yahoo’s online videos can’t match the scope of plain old ESPN television. The exposure is off the charts.

All this makes Matthew Berry the face of fantasy, a face you no doubt love to hate for all its choochness (look at him hammered gaming on some broad to the right) but still appreciate with that underlying sense of jealousy. I mean, what guy wouldn’t want to by Matthew Berry. HIS JOB IS FANTASY. HE GETS PAID FOR FANTASY!!! Redicccc.

(Couple other things about that pic to the right: love the couple fake posing, allowing the camera person to secret snap Berry’s mug. has that trick ever not worked?? Also like the Sev/Tevlin mix in the background.)

In doing some research for this post, I found this absolute gem. Get OUTTA HERE with this thing. I strongly suggest watching it all. Just wait for the 38 sec mark. Wooo:

Matthew Berry, today is your lucky day. Big props from all of us at USSS.


Is This The Best Song Out?

September 22, 2009

Wait a tick, I know Cudi and Jigga just came out, but is this song the best song out?

Big ups to Kate for introducing it to me this week.

Now introducing, the best girl song since Maneater, Lady Gaga’s Parazzi:

I guess we all have to dig deep and ask ourselves now, can Lady Gaga be stopped? Doubtful. She’s taking over pop music.

There’s an epic full video too. I was gonna make a joke, something about why Eric from True Blood is in it, but looked closely and pretty sure that’s like the real him:



The Patriots, President and that “other” Drive-Thru Window

April 1, 2008

I’ll kick this post off with a little ditty on how clandestine the Patriots actually are. So I’m on my way to the New England Revolution’s Media Day last Tuesday for work. It’s at Gillette Stadium, which, of course is shared by the football and soccer teams in the region. I didn’t read the intro email and stupidly walked to the door I’d normally enter when going to a Revs game. Locked. OK, so now I know I have to walk all the way to the entrance at the other side of the stadium. Fine. So I’m walking along, checking stuff out. Try one door. Locked. Try another. Doesn’t look right so I leave. I realize the guy at the gate earlier had mentioned something about the Pro Shop. So maybe the entrance is through there. I’m walking across a private lot, almost there when I get stopped by a guy with a headset. Security.

“What are you doing,” he says.
“I’m lost, maybe you can help me out,” I reply.
“You can’t be around here. This is a football area only. We’ve been watching you on the security camera the whole time,” he says.
Now here’s where I wanted to say something witty and awesome like “Well, Eric Magnini sent over…” or “You guys always have your eyes on the camera…” but instead paused to figure a cool way to say it, struggled, chickened out and just asked him to point me in the right direction. Still, THAT’s how clamped down things are in the land of Belichick. Now…on to the info post:


How obsolete is that other window in a drive-thru? Thing’s just a placeholder for a “Next Window, please” sign now. When’s the last time anyone has used that? And who thought that was a necessary idea? No, no we can’t have people paying and getting their food at the same window. We def need two. And then everyone went and copied it like it was a brilliant breakthrough. About as useful as a VCR now.


Had some internal debates with tipping recently. Not the standard tipping like at a bar or restaurant, but in other realms where the rules aren’t as clear. For instance, I heard that some people tip the guys who pump your gas at full-serve stations. Incred to me, thought never crossed my mind. I would never tip them, but on the other hand, I tip the kids who wipe down your car after you go through the auto car wash. Also, I always tell them to keep the change when I go through the Dunkies drive-thru, but I’d never do the same at a fast food place. Isn’t it basically the same thing? There’s some weird rules there that need clarification.


One of my favorite Will Ferrell SNL characters was his George Bush bits. Here’s a nice little summary clip.

LOL this got be searching some Bush stuff. This is probably the shortest and funniest one:

Cascada, GPS, and Why Aliens Exist

March 27, 2008


Hey, Cascada, how are you famous? What makes you more qualified to jack someone’s song and just remake it over a techno beat than anyone else? Pretty sure this is all you do for songs. How is this possible/legal. People have no problems giving you the rights to songs? Or are they just so sure that the dumbass American public (mostly girls) will sweat this techno-remixed song that they charge tons and it will be worth it to you? Whack.


In 10 -15 years will the next generation be clueless with directions? That’s the way I see things going with GPS now. Induces such mindlessness. I don’t own one, but everytime I borrow someone’s I find myself zoning out, jamming to tunes, paying attention to zero of my surroundings. Could drive somewhere 5-6 times and never in a million years be able to get back with a GPS. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. I love ‘em. But once they’re all standard in every new car, I feel people will be F’d when theirs breaks.


I told you I’ve become real into the history channel lately. Now that sucker is all I watch in bed late at night. Because my whole day is usually sports orientated, whether it’s work or the TV in the background if I’m working at home, I’m pretty much all caught up. That makes SportsCenter practically useless to me. So every night when I try to go to bed at a decent hour, it never happens cause I stay up to 2 am watching UFO Hunters, a WWII doc, Underground lairs, or Monster Quest.


That said, I’ve always been into UFOs, but now I’m into them more than ever. I watch one show, become so entrenched with disbelief that this stuff isn’t reported, figure ‘that can’t be real,’ end up doing my own online searching and then find out these things really did happen. WHAT THE FFFF…how can this happen? There’s UFOs out there, bra. No doubt. Too many accounts from professional pilots and former military personnel.

Remember a week or two ago when the US shot down a satellite in space with a guided missile form a navy warship? I doubt that satellite was really on a track to hit earth. That wasn’t a necessity…it was a warning: “Hey, we’re firing if you come.” Awesome.

Williams, Wolfie, Where were ya?

March 26, 2008

Yea yea, I know. Im just the co-pilot, or RIO, around here, but goose was still responsible for his actions. I’ve been doin a little schoolwork and spendin a lot of time on the fantasy baseball site so I haven’t posted here in a minute. I’ll get on those youtube’s of the day ASAP and my mind gets caught in a storm of baseball info this time a year so I’ll start posting some Sox thoughts if its OK with Mr. Williams.

Actually, per request, here is a clip of our dude Milan Lucic. The Bruins are Boston’s 4th or 5th favorite team, but I’ve been paying attention a little bit lately. Lucic is a mean dude. Hes young (19) and actually a solid player, not just muscle. Check the clip out even if you’re not really a hockey fan, still good.

I’ll be back with more later.


Links of the Week

March 25, 2008

After a little work-induced hiatus, the blog is back and crispy as ever. Got a slew of unreal vids and links that will have you laughing and loving life. Let’s roll.

First on the agenda is Joey Gathright jumping over a pitcher in spring training. Joey G is silky. Always was a fan of his when he was burning in Tampa. Wish he was a little better of a player though:

This next one is an awesome little hidden gem where a female news anchor uses the word muff on TV not knowing what it means:

glumbert – TV Anchor 101: Expand Your Vocabulary

Call this next clip juvenile if you like, but I guarantee you laugh:

glumbert – Anchor lets one loose on-air

By the way…don’t ever fight a Roy. Patrick used to beat down Chris Osgood and any other Red Wing goalie who was up to it and now his son is getting in on the action. Best thing in hockey has to be a goalie fight. Love that the other goalie wants no part of the fight then gets hammered anyway:

Don’t get in Shaq’s way:

We’ll end with a nice link you may have already seen in the Sports Guy’s link blog last week. It’s an unreal article on Nomar and how he’s continued to be miserable even in LA. Talk about a travesty. This guy was a legend his first few years in Boston. A surefire Hall of Famer we were annointing as great as Ted Williams. I think it’s a little underrated — has ANYONE’s career fallen off as much as Nomars? In any sport? I dunno.