Fake Girl Sox Fans

Pinky Sox

Its summer and you know what that means? Tons of girl’s facebook pics at Fenway Park. I’ve seen countless ones already. You know, the kind where it’s a far-off shot from a shitty bleacher seat of like the green monster, Big Papi or one of the “cute” players like Tek, Papelbon or Pedroia. Then you get the caption, something like: “Fenway is my FAVORITE place. I LOVE the Red Sox!!”

 

Do ya?? Or did ya have no idea about them until 2003? You tell me. You know Darren Lewis? Big fan of Saberhagen in the day? Sweat Jeff Frye and John Valentin? I’m guessing no. My estimate is that you have a pink (maybe green) hat, started following the team when it was good, your favorite player used to be Johnny Damon (I just loved him!) and now it might be Coco Crisp or Dustin Pedroia (he’s so little!).

 

A girl was at my house the other day when the Yankees-Angels FOX game was on. She couldn’t believe we were watching the Yankees (gasp!). “Turn that off. They suck.” Listen…I’m a baseball fan. I’m going to watch two nice teams go at it on a nationally broadcasted game. Plus, they’re our division rivals and you need to track this stuff. Double plus, I could watch the D-Rays and Orioles play and still have a dece time.

 

I like butch sports girls as little as the next guy, but c’mon, spare me from the pointless “I’m a huge fan!” rhetoric. It ain’t true one bit.

 

Am I right or nah? I’m dying for a heated girl response…

 

 

—-

 Don’t ever use the word horny. In my opinion, it’s reached creep-word status, joining hump, poontang and fetish in the Creeptionary.

 

 

Had my first experience with GPS the other day. Have to say I was impressed. Thing knew everything: the weird Boston streets, alternate routes, street names I didn’t know, even bodies of water. Gonna be amazing once that technology is standard in every car (along with MP3 players). People will never get lost. Imagine that?

 

 

I’m with Wolfie on his proclamation of needing to get good at golf. It’s so important for males when you get older. When I was working in the PR department for this business advisory firm, my boss who was only a few years older than me and from BU told me straight up: golf is verrry important in the professional world.

 

Bosses and businessmen love it for some reason. Its like their escape, the only tight thing they have left, the only thing keeping them sane in the face of whack jobs, wives, kids, taxes and overall pressure.

 

That said, you don’t want to embarrass yourself with a piss-poor game – especially with colleagues you might be working with for awhile. My biggest fear is being “that guy,” the one who sucks at golf and everything thinks less of them for it.

 

I need to learn how to play. Anyone wanna teach me??

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3 Responses to Fake Girl Sox Fans

  1. wolfie says:

    Preach on with the girl sox fans. Completely agree on all that. And I try to watch every Yankees game I can. Saturday Yanks games on Fox? You gotta watch those. Im so secure in my soxuality that I can comfortably say I love Jeter.

    Hey Im trying to soak up Golf big time. Hitting the range, bunsies, and youtube vids real hard right now. Just asking questions all the time and trying to not suck. Once we get to not suck status I think it will be all gravy. Considering taking a lesson at Ridders or Straw Valley if I hit another disaster snag. At Bryant I went to some career advising presentation. Guy said get going on golf asap cause more business deals and promotions get done there then in the office.

  2. Jenn Roscoe says:

    Heey Nick, I just read your girl red sox fan post. Mostly its true, actually I know a lot of fake guy fans too. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been watching a game with a bunch of guys and legit half of them have noo idea what’s going on with the sox. I’ve always loved them, went to my first game when i was 4 years old, my dad has season tickets since before I was born and I think the only thing you screwed up here is just calling out the girls, I think as a sox fan we all get pissed at fake fans, especially since we won the series. Bandwagon jumpers are never a good time. But I won’t lie I have a pink red sox hat and I’m not ashamed to wear it! Regardless of what sox stuff you’re wearing if you can’t back it up with real stats, names, dates, facts etc then people will realize really quick what kind of fan you are.

  3. balla says:

    i dunno dude it’s just like, how gay are the sox? you know what i mean?

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