The Patriots, President and that “other” Drive-Thru Window

April 1, 2008

I’ll kick this post off with a little ditty on how clandestine the Patriots actually are. So I’m on my way to the New England Revolution’s Media Day last Tuesday for work. It’s at Gillette Stadium, which, of course is shared by the football and soccer teams in the region. I didn’t read the intro email and stupidly walked to the door I’d normally enter when going to a Revs game. Locked. OK, so now I know I have to walk all the way to the entrance at the other side of the stadium. Fine. So I’m walking along, checking stuff out. Try one door. Locked. Try another. Doesn’t look right so I leave. I realize the guy at the gate earlier had mentioned something about the Pro Shop. So maybe the entrance is through there. I’m walking across a private lot, almost there when I get stopped by a guy with a headset. Security.

“What are you doing,” he says.
“I’m lost, maybe you can help me out,” I reply.
“You can’t be around here. This is a football area only. We’ve been watching you on the security camera the whole time,” he says.
Now here’s where I wanted to say something witty and awesome like “Well, Eric Magnini sent over…” or “You guys always have your eyes on the camera…” but instead paused to figure a cool way to say it, struggled, chickened out and just asked him to point me in the right direction. Still, THAT’s how clamped down things are in the land of Belichick. Now…on to the info post:

—-

How obsolete is that other window in a drive-thru? Thing’s just a placeholder for a “Next Window, please” sign now. When’s the last time anyone has used that? And who thought that was a necessary idea? No, no we can’t have people paying and getting their food at the same window. We def need two. And then everyone went and copied it like it was a brilliant breakthrough. About as useful as a VCR now.

——–

Had some internal debates with tipping recently. Not the standard tipping like at a bar or restaurant, but in other realms where the rules aren’t as clear. For instance, I heard that some people tip the guys who pump your gas at full-serve stations. Incred to me, thought never crossed my mind. I would never tip them, but on the other hand, I tip the kids who wipe down your car after you go through the auto car wash. Also, I always tell them to keep the change when I go through the Dunkies drive-thru, but I’d never do the same at a fast food place. Isn’t it basically the same thing? There’s some weird rules there that need clarification.

—————–

One of my favorite Will Ferrell SNL characters was his George Bush bits. Here’s a nice little summary clip.

LOL this got be searching some Bush stuff. This is probably the shortest and funniest one:


Cascada, GPS, and Why Aliens Exist

March 27, 2008

Cascada

Hey, Cascada, how are you famous? What makes you more qualified to jack someone’s song and just remake it over a techno beat than anyone else? Pretty sure this is all you do for songs. How is this possible/legal. People have no problems giving you the rights to songs? Or are they just so sure that the dumbass American public (mostly girls) will sweat this techno-remixed song that they charge tons and it will be worth it to you? Whack.

—————-

In 10 -15 years will the next generation be clueless with directions? That’s the way I see things going with GPS now. Induces such mindlessness. I don’t own one, but everytime I borrow someone’s I find myself zoning out, jamming to tunes, paying attention to zero of my surroundings. Could drive somewhere 5-6 times and never in a million years be able to get back with a GPS. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. I love ‘em. But once they’re all standard in every new car, I feel people will be F’d when theirs breaks.

———

I told you I’ve become real into the history channel lately. Now that sucker is all I watch in bed late at night. Because my whole day is usually sports orientated, whether it’s work or the TV in the background if I’m working at home, I’m pretty much all caught up. That makes SportsCenter practically useless to me. So every night when I try to go to bed at a decent hour, it never happens cause I stay up to 2 am watching UFO Hunters, a WWII doc, Underground lairs, or Monster Quest.

UFO

That said, I’ve always been into UFOs, but now I’m into them more than ever. I watch one show, become so entrenched with disbelief that this stuff isn’t reported, figure ‘that can’t be real,’ end up doing my own online searching and then find out these things really did happen. WHAT THE FFFF…how can this happen? There’s UFOs out there, bra. No doubt. Too many accounts from professional pilots and former military personnel.

Remember a week or two ago when the US shot down a satellite in space with a guided missile form a navy warship? I doubt that satellite was really on a track to hit earth. That wasn’t a necessity…it was a warning: “Hey, we’re firing if you come.” Awesome.


Links of the Week

March 25, 2008

After a little work-induced hiatus, the blog is back and crispy as ever. Got a slew of unreal vids and links that will have you laughing and loving life. Let’s roll.

First on the agenda is Joey Gathright jumping over a pitcher in spring training. Joey G is silky. Always was a fan of his when he was burning in Tampa. Wish he was a little better of a player though:

This next one is an awesome little hidden gem where a female news anchor uses the word muff on TV not knowing what it means:

glumbert – TV Anchor 101: Expand Your Vocabulary

Call this next clip juvenile if you like, but I guarantee you laugh:

glumbert – Anchor lets one loose on-air

By the way…don’t ever fight a Roy. Patrick used to beat down Chris Osgood and any other Red Wing goalie who was up to it and now his son is getting in on the action. Best thing in hockey has to be a goalie fight. Love that the other goalie wants no part of the fight then gets hammered anyway:

Don’t get in Shaq’s way:

We’ll end with a nice link you may have already seen in the Sports Guy’s link blog last week. It’s an unreal article on Nomar and how he’s continued to be miserable even in LA. Talk about a travesty. This guy was a legend his first few years in Boston. A surefire Hall of Famer we were annointing as great as Ted Williams. I think it’s a little underrated — has ANYONE’s career fallen off as much as Nomars? In any sport? I dunno.


Groundhog’s Day and March Madness

March 17, 2008

Hey, what’s the deal with Groundhog’s Day? Are we done with this yet? Have we had enough? It’s so ridiculous that no one even bothers to talk about how ridiculous it is. Yea, this Groundhog’s telling me when winter is gonna end? When has that f*ckin’ thing not seen its shadow?

Punxsutawney Phil

Tons of people and cameras surrounding it. That thing is scurrying right back into its hole. It’s the dumbest American tradition ever, I think. Seriously how could it not see its shadow? If it’s cloudy that means winter is going to end? Does the time of day matter for Punxsutawney Phil? If he came out a noon with the sun right over him, would that affect his prognostication?

According to legend, there is only one Punxsutawney Phil, who has made weather predictions for 122 years. He’s taken care of year round by a group of yahoos known as members of the fabled “Inner Circle.” These would be the people you see on TV in top hats. These people serve Phil a mysterious Groundhog Punch every summer, a special brew that gives Phil his immortality. And every February 2, according to the Inner Circle, Phil makes his predication and then “speaks to the Club President in ‘Groundhogese,’ intelligible only to the Inner Circle; this prediction is then translated for the entire world.”

I vote to eliminate this critter holiday from all calendars.

——-

Remember when huge Astro Vans like these were all the rage back in the late ‘80s – early ‘90s?

 Chevrolet Express

Wow. Unreal. Always with the worst designs on them too, like someone stenciled a corny wallpaper all over ‘em. There is no excuse for owning one of these now. Actually, there is one – if you’re handicapped, supposedly they’re pretty big and can be made wheelchair accessible. But that’s it. If you have it just as a regular car then you’re a nice gimmick to me.

——-

Best part of March Madness is the first two days, hands down. Games start at noon and don’t end until late at night. When I was in college, I used to skip class every Thursday and park myself in front of the TV all day with my brackets printed, marking scores and games off. So fun. Good thing I’ll be “working” from home at the end of the week. Lot of productivity on those days I’m sure.


The Lovely Erica Ellyson

March 13, 2008

Coulple quick things before I head off to tonight’s Bruins game, just my second of the year (and that seems like too many).

 First, good to see Clay Bucholtz making it in the bigs. So what if he hasn’t pitched a full seaosn yet, he’s banging Penthouse Pet Eric Ellyson.

Erica Ellyson

 Nice, Clay. In another Sox related piece, Bartolo Colon hit 93 on the gun today. Uh-oh.

Imagine being a big enough celeb where for your birthday you get to suit up and bat leadoff for the Yankees? That’s just was Billy Crystal did today.

—-

I’ll end on a health related note today. It’s a sad day for Boston. They just banned all trans fats in the city, set to begin this September. So much for delicious donuts and french fries. Heart attack risk?? Like worth it??


Matt Walsh, Chuck Norris and The Wire finale

March 10, 2008

The Wire

First off, a farewell to The Wire. That last episode was perfect for me. I was very nervous the ending was going to piss me off, but it was terrific. It’s a shame I got into the show so late and had to speed through seasons 1-6 since October. Now that Sopranos and The Wire are done forever, and the writer’s strike cancelled this year’s 24 and Entourage, I’m hurting for non-sports TV. I got South Park back in business this Wednesday, but other than that, I got nothing. Any suggestions are welcome.

Now, to the links:

If you get a few minutes, make sure you check out the today’s feature the Globe did on Matt Walsh, the former Patriots video assistant prominently involved in the ongoing Spygate drama. Walsh, as reported by multiple media outlets, is close to reaching some sort of immunity agreement with the NFL so he can tell his story, which both he and his lawyer have indicated contains damaging material against the Pats.

Excellent work by the Globe. This is why you still need newspapers. The internet and TV are great and all, mostly for their instantaneity, but newspapers are the only media where I guy can spend a few weeks making calls, traveling and doing some actual investigative journalism.

The story on what he did to his roommate’s girlfriend at Springfield College is priceless. Worth the read alone. Enjoy.

———-

For all you Chuck Norris fans out there, and I know there’s plenty, here’s a picture tribute detailing the facts and/or legends about “our nation’s greatest hero.”

——-

Finally, I know this site has been circling the internet like crazy and there’s a 85% chance you’ve already seen it, but it’s so good that this is for the other 15% who haven’t: stuff white people like.

I wouldn’t read all of them completely, just do a scan through. I LOL’d at “The Wire,” “Study Abroad,” “Apple products,” “The Daily Show/Colbert Report,” “Making you feel bad about not going outside,” and my favorite on the list: “Irony.” List should just be called Stuff People at BU like. I thought of hundreds of kids I went to college with when reading this thing.


Manny Buys Pedroia a Rolex; Handryers suck

March 8, 2008

Can’t stand hand dryers in public restrooms. Nothin’ beats a good ol’ paper towel. I think a hand dryer is the only technological advancement that actually made a process slower. Takes a minute+  to fully dry your hands with that thing when a paper towel takes 10 seconds tops. Seriously, can you name any other technology that slows something down? I can’t. Even the old brown paper towels you used in grade school dry things quicker, and those things were barely paper at all – one step down from tree. If you spilt a beaker in science class, you were screwed. Just had to keep dabbing away with that non-absorbant sheet. Eventually you’d just have to let it sit there and slowly soak up like it was a piece of oak.

Loving hearing people slowly incorporating new, professional voice recordings for their voicemail inbox. Gone are ‘Hey, what’s up…” or “Yo, you know who it is…” or a corny R&B or pop song or something. Now that people are entering the profession (read: whack) portion of life, it’s only: “Hi, you’ve reached [insert full name]. I’m available to take your call right now, but if you leave a detailed message, I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.” Funny to me when you hear someone’s changed message for the first time. Always laugh.

Manny bought Dustin Pedroia a Rolex for winning Rookie of the Year. Promises to get him something else if he hits over .300 again. Love that man.

The ads in the AIM info boxes are really starting to bother me now. Pretty soon they’ll have ‘em right in the damn IM window. No shame here. Remember those ads that would just start playing videos or bumping tunes without prompt? Those were the worst.