Cascada, GPS, and Why Aliens Exist

March 27, 2008

Cascada

Hey, Cascada, how are you famous? What makes you more qualified to jack someone’s song and just remake it over a techno beat than anyone else? Pretty sure this is all you do for songs. How is this possible/legal. People have no problems giving you the rights to songs? Or are they just so sure that the dumbass American public (mostly girls) will sweat this techno-remixed song that they charge tons and it will be worth it to you? Whack.

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In 10 -15 years will the next generation be clueless with directions? That’s the way I see things going with GPS now. Induces such mindlessness. I don’t own one, but everytime I borrow someone’s I find myself zoning out, jamming to tunes, paying attention to zero of my surroundings. Could drive somewhere 5-6 times and never in a million years be able to get back with a GPS. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. I love ‘em. But once they’re all standard in every new car, I feel people will be F’d when theirs breaks.

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I told you I’ve become real into the history channel lately. Now that sucker is all I watch in bed late at night. Because my whole day is usually sports orientated, whether it’s work or the TV in the background if I’m working at home, I’m pretty much all caught up. That makes SportsCenter practically useless to me. So every night when I try to go to bed at a decent hour, it never happens cause I stay up to 2 am watching UFO Hunters, a WWII doc, Underground lairs, or Monster Quest.

UFO

That said, I’ve always been into UFOs, but now I’m into them more than ever. I watch one show, become so entrenched with disbelief that this stuff isn’t reported, figure ‘that can’t be real,’ end up doing my own online searching and then find out these things really did happen. WHAT THE FFFF…how can this happen? There’s UFOs out there, bra. No doubt. Too many accounts from professional pilots and former military personnel.

Remember a week or two ago when the US shot down a satellite in space with a guided missile form a navy warship? I doubt that satellite was really on a track to hit earth. That wasn’t a necessity…it was a warning: “Hey, we’re firing if you come.” Awesome.


Bringing back the blog with WEEI, Rick Ross and Paintball

October 11, 2007

****Bringing back the blog (yes, once again…USS is the Rickey Henderson of blogs). Thing’s been getting secret hits (like 150 a day) for some reason while I’ve neglected it. Apparently if you search for bats or batman, my story on the bat attck comes up a lot. Who knows. Anyway, starting off with an info post. Tomorrow: music review. Hopefully will get some contributions from Tevlin, Stello and/or Wolfie someitme soon. Enjoy.***

Can’t listen to EEI without a nice CD on deck for commercials. Their breaks are for like 10-15 minutes…just unbearable stuff too including the hosts doing tons of plugs. I’ll change to CD then check back 3-4 times until it’s back from break..so annoying.

I feel like Rick Ross – Port of Miami is one of the most underrated rap CDs released in the past year or two. Very good every listen.

Don’t get people who drive in the left fast lane on the highway then drive 60. “Hey now, the speed limit’s 60 and that’s what I’m gonna buddy.” – Def what theyre saying in their minds as a line of cars is bunched behind them and they won’t pull to the right lane. What are you trying to prove, hero?

I was gonna buy an XBox 360 (only $279 now) but instead I’m using that money for Miami to see the Pats with Delaney, Tevlin and crew. Is it worth it to buy a used one? Or is that a horrible investment? I’m counting on Tevlin or Wolfie to awnser this here…

Speaking of paintball, I played the other day at my dad’s gf’s son’s (how do you like that chain)bachelor party for the first time since like 8th grade. Forgot how fun it was. You think it’s gonna be lame until you’re out there and all of a sudden you’re in full-out warrior mode, wondering why you didn’t decide to kill people for a living, because you’re having such a ball.

We Own the Night, Gone Baby Gone, and American Gangster are must-see in theatres for me.

Remember what I said the other day about the timeouts right before a field goal attempt? Just saw something on SportsCenter about it…only saw the rundown and not what people had to say. Let me know if you saw.


South Park, MySpace Creeps and other parting shots heading into the weekend

July 26, 2007

South Park

I can’t believe I used to not like South Park. I can’t believe I actually argued Family Guy was better. And this was just a year ago. What was I thinking?

I guess I just saw some of the early seasons (seasons 1 and 2 actually aren’t that good) and must have only seen bad episodes from the later ones. What probably happened, is that I saw a bunch of the gross poop, puke, weird ones that I don’t really like anyway.

But still, I’m almost embarrassed I defended Family Guy. South Park is infinitely better. It’s wittier, funnier, more clever and absolutely makes fun of everything. Trey Parker and Matt Stone are legit geniuses. The stuff they come up with…incredible.

They use to perfection: satire, lampooning, parody and shock-value (yea I took a comedy class freshman year). Their message is never real, but always one of humor – they make fun of every side of an issue you can think of, making sure no one gets left out. And when they get too preachy, or when they think they do, they make fun of themselves.

My roommates and I DVR’d all episodes this year, so I’ve almost seen every episode now, although new ones crop up in My Recordings every now and then.

Seriously, you have to trust me on this. If you’re shaking your head saying “no way, that show is whack,” you really need to give it a shot. I’m telling you, no show keeps up with pop culture and current events like this one. And no show makes fun of them in a way that’s always pretty much exactly how you want it.

God bless Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny for making my year way funnier.

Read an article that said MySpace identified 29,000 sex offenders with profiles on its site. Haha, WHAT??? Yea, that site is safe. Wall post away, kids!

A very underrated thing we do as humans is heal. Cut myself the other day and was thinking about it. You lose skin, your body takes care of it. Lil scab, shed the dead skin, grow some new skin and, bingo, you’re all good. So ill that we have that rejuvenation power. Good looks, God.

“So easy a caveman could do it” is taking over rap lyrics. That line is in so many songs now. It was clever the first 1 or 2 times I heard it. Now I’m over it.

Wow the drawstring in gym shorts is annoying. You kidding me? Why’s this thing designed to fall out? Anyone wanna explain that? I know you’re with me, you hate that moment when you look down and notice one string is way longer than the other and the other has slipped through the hole. You might even feel around a little bit thinking you can fix it. No way pal. You need a Mom for that. They’re nice at it.

Actually, girls in general are pretty good at it. I don’t know one guy who can do it. Except Matty D says his dad can. Don’t know if I believe him though.

Was watching TV the other day with my boy Trey and that Pepsi Max commercial came on with all the people yawning in it. It legit made Trey yawn, I loved it. So I hit rewind and watched it again more closely to see if it would do it to me. Didn’t work, but I could kinda feel my mouth moving a little. Don’t know if me being conscience of what I was trying to do affected it or not. Anyone yawn to this commercial?

Couple last sidenotes in what might be my last post until Monday:

This is a huge weekend for concerts. You got the Police at Fenway, 311 at Tweeter, Country Fest and Rage Against the Machine w/ Wu-Tang. So redic for music lovers.

Gotta mention sports once. How bout this: The Red Sox and Indians’ exchange of 1-0 victories on consecutive nights was the first time two AL teams did that since 1975. Doesn’t that seem pretty absurd?

By the way, don’t you dare pitch to ANY Yankee. It’s probably going to end up an RBI double or something.


Who’s Now?

July 17, 2007

The following post on ESPN’s ‘Who’s Now’ was written by Wolfie, the rest posted by nickwill. Enjoy:

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‘Who’s Now’ is one of the worst SportsCenter segments I can remember.

 

The bracket setup is stupid. Why would there be upsets? The Now label is cheesy. I think it’s called who’s popular.

 

The panel leaves much to be desired also. I like Keyshawn in the studio for NFL, but he’s not versatile enough for this job. Michael Wilbon is OK, but he’s old and I get enough of him on PTI every day. Herbstreit is logical and safe but he doesn’t have any special reason to be telling me who or what is hot right now.

 

This segment could have been entertaining, and here’s how: 

First you cut down the giant ass bracket to 16 people max. No one watching a highlight show wants to see a debate that lasts over two weeks. Secondly, trying to create your own adjective is a reach. I’ll go with who’s hot or buzz index as the title. Lastly, the panel is going to make or break it. I need Stephen A. Smith on this segment in a bad way. SAS is your loud and energized opinionated sparkplug. Then give me Bill Simmons in the 2-hole for your pop culture and humor input. Then I’ll take Torry Holt for some swag and logic. (Holt is going to be smoke as an ESPN personality once he retires, by the way.)

 

 

 

Something about cell phone chargers makes them easy to forget. It’s always one of those things you need to be reminded of when you travel, whether it’s by another person or by writing it on some sort of list. I forgot mine twice in five days. Once at home when coming back to Boston and the other in Philly before coming back to Boston. It should also be noted that the one I left in Philly was a brand new one – a replacement for the one I left home.

 

That leaves me with a grand total of zero chargers for my phone. Do I get another for $30? Does this happen to anyone else, or am I just an idiot?

 

 

 

Me and my former roommate Anthony (See “Curse of the Marshall Faulk Jersey” below) were talking about this before: Don’t you just hate it when someone tells you “I know you better than you know yourself.”

 

Yea? You do? Or do I know EXACTLY what I’m thinking at EVERY single moment of the day and you can just guess how I’m feeling and maybe be right sometimes???

 

You tell me who knows me better. It’s a typical stupid Mom line that means absolutely zero. Sometimes girlfriends try and steal it as well. But seriously, c’mon, you think this tricks me?

 

I’ve been with me since the beginning. Everywhere I’ve went, too. You can’t say that. So stop trying to be a hero know-it-all.


New Phones, Runner’s High and Secrets

July 8, 2007

How lost are you when you get a new phone? You used to know all your settings and shortcuts in your old shitty one, then you get that new beauty and can’t figure out how to turn on vibrate. Because let’s be honest: no one is reading those directions. You kiddin me? Things textbook thick and goes into features you didn’t even pay for anyway. Only way to learn is trial and error.

 

Secret is one of the best new words to use. It’s huge at BU now. You surprise your friends with a lil 12-pack of Sam Summer? Secret beers. Someone bugging for gum and you pull out a pack? Secret gum. Girls can be secret hot, chooches can be secret whack, and sports teams can be secret hard to play. If you don’t use it, try it out. It’s a secret word you’ll enjoy.

 

No such thing as runner’s high I decided. At least not for me. Hate running and everything it stands for. Recently just started back into it in an attempt to get back in shape. It hurts and it blows. I always run just waiting for that runner’s high I hear so much about to kick in – nah, never does. I’d rather have stoner’s high.

 

I get why male-dominated areas in the workforce pretty much stay that way. Whether it’s government, CEOs, big time presidents and executives, people try to keep it in the guy’s hands. Why? Basically…you don’t want the women holding all the cards do you? They already can do whatever they want cause they hold the elusive sex card. Cause it’s very rare for a girl to want to have sex and the guy to not. It’s always the other way around. So much so that women can actually train men to do things just in the pursuit of getting laid. That said…they can’t have it all. Right?


One of the fastest growing blogs: Crazy minor league manager, SummerJam and passwords

June 5, 2007

First off, thanks to anyone who takes the time to check out this blog – the 66th fastest growing blog on WordPress, whatever that means.

 

Today we’re going to run through a bunch of random topics and links, similar to the format I used to make my AIM profiles back when I was tight.

 

Here we go:

 

How ridiculous are password specifications getting? You know, where a website makes you type a certain amount of characters with numbers and CAPs and all that. It’s to the point where it makes passwords not an easy little thing that only you know, but a stupid idiot thing that you have to write down to even know.

 

That said, I was filling out something for a GAP card account and the password requirements were as follows:                                        -must be 8-15 characters

                                                            -must contain 2 numbers

                                                            -numbers can’t be at the beginning or the end

OK…so that leaves me with zero passwords to come up with? Oh, let me just resort to my go-to pword that has two numbers right in the middle of a word    . Sure. This is a fuckin GAP CARD. No one is trying to hack into this and pay my 80 dollar balance for 2 polos, so why is this more secure than my bank account? Don’t get it.

 

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I sort of hate the phrase “lucked out.” You were confused when you first started using this, weren’t you? Think about it. Back in the day, you heard someone say it for the first time and were like, wait does that mean their luck ran out or did something good happen. What’s going on here? Is this good or bad? It’s just a strange way to put it, I guess.

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How about that crazy manager of the Atlanta Braves’ Double-A affiliate? In case you’ve been locked in a basement for the past three days, or just want to laugh at this nut again, here’s the clip.

 

I’m normally a fan of this crap, cause it’s entertaining and I always appreciate an out-of-their-tree weirdo, but I have to say if I were a higher up in the Braves organization, I’d fire this guy real quick.

 

Think about it, do you really want this whacko nurturing your prized prospects? He’s obviously off his rocker. You think an outburst of this magnitude comes randomly? No way. He’s crazy and he most likely does other crazy stuff outside of this. I wouldn’t want him dealing with my kids. Not in an age where you’re very careful with prospects to begin with – I wouldn’t want someone screwing them up.

 

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Went to Summer Jam at the Tweeter Center the other day. Pretty solid time. It’s weird that every rap concert I go to is flooded with white teenage girls. But I guess if you only go to Jam’N 94.5 or Eminem concerts, it makes sense.

What I love at these things is that you can’t drink beer in the parking lot. You have to hide it in a cooler in the car and pour it into a red Solo cup. Really? I’m almost 22. I had to go through this sneaking around shit for years, I’m done with that now, why can’t I just drink?

 

If the cops (what a job this is by the way – serve and protect, how about bike around and try to wreck your time) see your booze, they take it away. I saw some people with a full ass keg in their trunk get it taken away on a golf cart. Now that sucks. 80 bucks down the tube. Where do you think that goes anyway? Def getting slugged at like Chief Sullivan’s cousin’s BBQ.

 

50 Cent showed up out of nowhere, which woulda been kinda cool if he didn’t suck. Take away his studio-enhanced voice and 50 is terrbs. No one was really feelin’ him either, you could tell. At one point he said “C’mon now, I wasn’t even supposed to be here” when he didn’t get a huge ovation when he though he should.

 

Surprisingly, that’s one of the only things I remember from that concert.

 

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Aloe is like a magic plant, by the way. It was like 90 at that concert so obviously I left with a sunburn (the gay raccoon one too from leaving my sunglasses on like a drunken idiot) so I had to get aloe the next day. Stuff is unreal. So cooling and soothing somehow. I don’t get it and I don’t want to. It just feels ill and I’d like to leave it at that. I was looking at the bottle and it said something about how it could be used for shaving or as a hair gel too. Aloe can do anything apparently.

 

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I’m fed up with CD’s. A) Few people buy them anymore because they think they can get away with selling it for like 13 bucks when I can get the full CD on iTunes for about 6. B) All they do is skip. For no reason. Fresh new blank CD for that next road trip? Things skipping, no doubt.

 

Can’t wait until 10 years or so when CDs are gone for good and every car has an MP3 player or iPod dock.

That’s all for today. Please comment with any links/funny stuff you got for me. Peace.


Going batty: My struggle against the only mammal that can fly

June 4, 2007

Some of you know this story already, but I promised I’d blog it anyway:

                                       bat

So, last week, there’s about five of us chilling in our living room on a Saturday night. It’s about 12:30, we were having a few cocktails and the night’s starting to wind down.

 

We were about halfway through Grandma’s Boy (unreal movie, btw) when some creature comes whizzing by real quick, past the T.V. and into the pitch-black kitchen.

 

No one really knew what had just happened (note: we were under the influence) and we all just kinda looked at one another like…”Um..what was that?”

 

Your first instinct in this type of situation is to assume it was a bird. Or at least hope. Pray. ‘Cause you know if it ain’t a bird, it can only be one other thing: a gross, scary, slimy yet fury, BAT.

 

Now, I don’t know about you, but I hate animals (outside of dogs, fish, and koala bears) and I’m especially terrified of snakes, rats/mice and bats – just grimy critters whose quick movements make it impossible to predict their next move.

 

So we slowly get up off the couch and venture into the kitchen. As soon as we turn on the lights, we see that fury winged creature. The thing whizzes by as we all duck (and maybe scream..not me though). The bat keeps flying back-and-forth now, over our heads.

 

The only thought in my mind is that this gross, disease-infested thing is going to run into me and get caught in my hair. So at this point I’m ready to do anything to stop it. As it comes by on one of its fly-bys, I reach for a beer bottle, think the better of it, and instead grip the next closest thing – a bottle of ketchup – and sling it toward the beast.

 

Now it misses the bat, hits the wall and explodes in a way that it makes a semi-rainbow type line of ketchup on our wall. Couldn’t do it again if I tried, it was like a movie. And even though the throw missed, it was close enough to scare the bat. Now it was sitting upside down like it was in a cave, but it was clinging to the Red BU jersey we have hanging on the wall.

 

At this point, a few of us grab weapons: mop, broom, plastic cover to a storage tub. You know, the essentials. We prod it with the weaps and toward the open porch door where we think it flew in.

 

It disappears.

 

Not knowing if we’re out of the woods yet, we creep along toward the porch door, which conveniently is in between the stairs to the attic bedrooms and the stairs to the front door downstairs.

 

Three different places it could have went.

 

One of my roommates (who lives in the top attic rooms) starts to tip-toe up, broom in tow. Would you want the uncertainty of whether there was a bat hiding in your dark, attic room? Didn’t think so.

 

As he goes up, I check down the stairs…only to see the Dark Knight flapping his wings right toward me. I shout: “There it is!” not knowing that my roommate – blinded by both darkness and fear – would assume I meant I saw the bat near him.

 

So he comes down the stairs swinging a broom like McGwire and I start to inch down the front steps to get this thing. I’m fed up at this point and just want to kill it (sorry PETA).

 

Luckily, we had an unreal athlete with us who scaled down our top porch and was able to open the front door. Now, I said unreal athlete, not superhero. He was just as confused/scared as anyone and wouldn’t go back in after he opened the door.

 

So we have the bat cornered, it’s almost over. We just have to go down with the weaps, use the storage tub cover as a shield and poke the thing with a broom or mop until it flies out.

 

Easier said than done. The critter was a smart lil guy and was hiding under some junk in the foyer. I don’t wanna get too close. I mean, a quick Wikipedia search shows that “about 70% of bats are insectivores. Of the remainder, most feed on fruits and their juices; three species sustain themselves with blood and some prey on vertebrates.”

 

Blood? Blood?? Like in the movies. I felt like a Batman villain when they finally get locked up or put in a psych ward only to have non-stop visions of a bat flying at them in a dim lit area.Batman

 

Eventually, the bat surfaces from under the radiator, only to be met with my quick mop strike. Nervous it’s going to fly back up into my face, I keep whacking at it – ready to kill it or drive it out, whatever it takes.

 

The chaos was enough to send the creature scurrying out the front door and bat to wherever it came from (aka: right back on our roof probably).

 

Bat gone. Drama over. Crisis adverted.

 

For now anyways….

 

Bat2