A Tribute to…Matthew Berry

September 22, 2009

I was on the treadmill today (shocking, I know) with ESPN on the TV silent in the background as usual, when a new commercial came on. I have no idea what the commercial was for, just that it had something to do with ESPN and GEICO (the caveman was in it) and it starred Matthew Berry with his half-bald head and normal shit-eating grin.

It got me thinking: is this chooch secret ill?

The answer? A resounding ‘Yes.’

Matthew Berry is the man. For girls and dudes that don’t like sports/fantasy/life, Matty B is the No. 1 fantasy guru at ESPN. He was a nice little gimmick at first. The “fantasy guy” who would have a short segment or two every fall talking about some made-up geek game for non-athletes while announcers and SportsCenter anchors poked fun at him.

But now with the ascension of fantasy sports, especially football, Berry has become the man. Old-fart executives and blue-haired decision makers took awhile to come around on fantasy. But once they suddenly (finally) realized it catered to the golden audience, the much coveted 18-30 year old male demographic, you know, the ones actually spending money, they realized the marketing potential was limitless.

Need to sell beer or snacks? Want to pitch crispy violent TV shows and action movies? This is your audience.

And because ESPN, like most ginormous enterprises, is driven by the bottom line, they started pumping more staff, Internet space, air time and dollars into fantasy.

This brings me back to Berry. As a pioneer of fantasy he no doubt was laughed at and ridiculed most of his “career” before fantasy really took off. Now because he gutted it out, he ended up in the right place at the right time and is now at the forefront of the fantasy movement. Although Yahoo! has a chokehold on the fantasy community, iit’s limited to online. Yahoo’s online videos can’t match the scope of plain old ESPN television. The exposure is off the charts.

All this makes Matthew Berry the face of fantasy, a face you no doubt love to hate for all its choochness (look at him hammered gaming on some broad to the right) but still appreciate with that underlying sense of jealousy. I mean, what guy wouldn’t want to by Matthew Berry. HIS JOB IS FANTASY. HE GETS PAID FOR FANTASY!!! Redicccc.

(Couple other things about that pic to the right: love the couple fake posing, allowing the camera person to secret snap Berry’s mug. has that trick ever not worked?? Also like the Sev/Tevlin mix in the background.)

In doing some research for this post, I found this absolute gem. Get OUTTA HERE with this thing. I strongly suggest watching it all. Just wait for the 38 sec mark. Wooo:

Matthew Berry, today is your lucky day. Big props from all of us at USSS.



Williams, Wolfie, Where were ya?

March 26, 2008

Yea yea, I know. Im just the co-pilot, or RIO, around here, but goose was still responsible for his actions. I’ve been doin a little schoolwork and spendin a lot of time on the fantasy baseball site so I haven’t posted here in a minute. I’ll get on those youtube’s of the day ASAP and my mind gets caught in a storm of baseball info this time a year so I’ll start posting some Sox thoughts if its OK with Mr. Williams.

Actually, per request, here is a clip of our dude Milan Lucic. The Bruins are Boston’s 4th or 5th favorite team, but I’ve been paying attention a little bit lately. Lucic is a mean dude. Hes young (19) and actually a solid player, not just muscle. Check the clip out even if you’re not really a hockey fan, still good.

I’ll be back with more later.


Another Youtube

March 12, 2008

I know some people have already watched this one but I cant risk someone not seeing it. Mullet head got walloped and pwned. Sounded like a gunshot. Look at the look on the punchers face as shes winding up, then the double fast walk away. Check out the old lady at the beginning too. Love this clip so much. Rlol

Evil Eye

March 12, 2008

YoTD – Battle at Kruger

March 8, 2008

This Youtube of the day is long, but one of the most amazing things Ive ever seen. This could be made into an entire documentary. If nature and animals interest you in the slightest, watch this thing and love it.

Pujols Injury and Appreciation

March 7, 2008

I was posting this for my fantasy baseball league last night and figured the blog readers might want to get the low down on the Pujols injury anyway. I did some research and asked Richie to help me understand it. I actually might interview Rich and ask about sports injuries then post that next week. He’ll have his doctorate in physical therapy or some stuff soon. Anyway, back to Pujols, here ya go.

Pujols has the torn ligament in his elbow (the UCL), which would require Tommy John surgery to fix. (Tommy John is UCL reconstruction by transferring a tendon from another part of the body). But the tear of the ligament has been there for awhile and hasn’t gotten much worse so they want to put that off as long as possible.

The real problem is the discomfort from the stuff around the UCL. It looks like bone spurs, maybe some floating cartilage, and it seems to be getting worse. To fix this they can go in for an arthroscopy, which is a minor surgery to clean out all the trash floatin around, and he would be back in a couple weeks or so. Why not do this? Maybe they don’t want to because it would just be a big band aid and still leave him with the torn ligament. Maybe they know Tommy John is coming soon enough and they will clean it all out during the reconstruction.

It looks like they are going with the third option. Just treat the symptoms. Keep the pain and swelling under control and have him gut his way through it. They will see if the ligament or spurs worsen to where they need to just blow it up, reconstruct the thing, and get him ready for ’09.

The guy played like a hall of famer as soon as he entered the majors. There was no development curve. He posted an OPS over 1000 as a rookie. Thats extremely extremely rare. Hes a lifetime .332 hitter. He is the best hitter we have ever seen outside of Bonds. Hes not a better fantasy player, but hes twice the pure hitter A-Rod is. In 2006 he missed 20 games, but still hit 49 HR. That year he K’ed only once more than he homered, 50 times. He slugged .671 and threw in a gold glove for good measure. (How about this secret stat, he stole 16 bases in 2005.)

I love the rare low strikeout power hitters. Pujols is unique in that his approach is more about line drives up the middle and gap power, but hes so strong that those balls can, and do, leave any part of the ballpark. Im focusing on 06 because it was his best year, but he hasn’t struck out 70 times since his rookie year.

2006 HR Leaders

Ryan Howard _____58 HR / 181 K
David Ortiz _______54 HR / 117 K
Albert Pujols ______49 HR / 50 K
Alfonso Soriano ____46 HR / 160 K
Lance Berkman ____45 HR / 106 K
Jermaine Dye _____44 HR / 118 K
Travis Hafner _____42 HR / 111 K
Jim Thome _______42 HR / 147 K
Carlos Beltran _____41 HR / 99 K
Andruw Jones _____41 HR / 127 K
Adam Dunn _______40 HR / 194 K

Aramis Ramirez, Sheff, Carlos Lee Vladdy are the only other guys who are able to come close in terms of power/low K’s. The thing with them is they are all, for the most part, free swingers. Pujols and Bonds are the only guys you’ll see who dont strikeout, pump bombs, and have extreme plate discipline. How do you get guys out when they do not chase bad pitches but also dont swing and miss at pitches in the zone?

St. Maarten Will Take Ya Head Off

March 4, 2008

Some day I need to stand under this thing. Here is your youtube of the day.

Couple quicks…

-Texting and driving is more common than adults realize. That stuff is not safe. Maybe as bad as driving drunk or asleep. Ive been practicing the no look Matt Damon in The Departed text. It can be done.

-You know you car dance a little. When you really have to jam out the arms, shoulders, and torso are movin. Feel like its kinda good too huh. Now what I want to know is if people confined to a wheelchair dance, and do they dance like healthy people car dance?

-Woww Snickers ice cream bars are unbelievable. Replace the regular filling with ice cream and the caramel doesn’t freeze? Things are out of this world. Get one and you’ll probably never go back to any other convenience store ice cream. I saw Sull eat one the other day and as hes finishing he says “wow I could eat two more”. Later on, diff place, Retta eats one and says “I could eat three of those”. What a treat.

Spring training is upon us. Lets remember not to put to much stock in it though. Realize that players are just getting the rust off and working on the basics. Don’t get too worried if the Sox, or your fantasy team players aren’t doing so well.

“I’m just trying to put some good wood on the ball, see some good pitches, work on my timing and get my foot down. It’s crazy. We’ve got 25 games left. I’m trying to pace myself…. I’ve never seen a baseball card with spring training stats on it. I don’t want to be Cactus League MVP. I don’t want that trophy. Y’all can have that. I want that World Series ring.”–Tori Hunter


-I love animals. This pisses me off.

-I need to grab a hybrid soon.

-Ovechkin scored his 50th goal. Here comes the boom.

-Give Ronald Jenkees a few minutes of your time. Hes re-diculous.